


All Love Begins and Ends

by DisKingOfErebor



Series: Motherhood [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, F/M, Female Bilbo, Female Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 17:19:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5342171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisKingOfErebor/pseuds/DisKingOfErebor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It makes her heart hurt to look at the child for too long. The ache of losing Thorin is still too raw.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Love Begins and Ends

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [Lily](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lily_winterwood/), [Kat](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Katana4544/), [Emily](http://archiveofourown.org/users/crispyapple/), and [Tisha](http://musicandteddybears.tumblr.com/) for being my betas in the wee hours of the morning.

She had been so close. So _close_ to reaching Azog and killing him.

And then she'd realized she was with child.

_Thorin's_ child.

She couldn't do it. She could not risk the child.

So she stopped her hunt and returned to the Shire.

-

She had been pleased to discover her cousins Drogo and Primula were living in Bag End when she returned. Told them they were welcome to stay.

The house would have felt too empty if they'd left.

It's not like Primula would have left her alone anyway, after seeing that she was with child.

-

She can hardly believe it's almost been eleven months since she'd left the mountain. Can hardly believe it's been so long since she'd last seen the Company.

Can hardly believe she just gave birth to Thorin's child.

Yet there's no doubt the child is his. The eyes alone are a color she's been referring to as 'Durin Blue' in her head. And the dark head of hair is near the same color as Thorin's, if perhaps a little lighter in shade.

It makes her heart hurt to look at the child for too long. The ache of losing Thorin is still too raw.

When she asks Primula for the date, her cousin laughs and tells her that it's her birthday. Surely it's not a coincidence that she and her child should share the same birth date.

Later, when she asks Primula if she and Drogo would raise the child in her stead, she's not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed when her cousin flat out refuses.

-

The child’s first birthday is supposed to be a big event, but interacting with so many people at once sounds like an exhausting experience.

She throws one anyway with the help of Primula and Drogo in an attempt to placate the other hobbits and quiet the constant gossip about her.

The party goes well, despite the fact that everything becomes way _too much_ for her very early on. Somehow, she manages to make it through the day, however she spends the entirety of the next week recovering from it.

Unfortunately, the party doesn't do anything to end the constant gossip.

-

When she gets a letter right at the start of Yule that year, she needs Primula to verify that she’s not hallucinating. Needs someone else to verify that the letter is truly from _Thorin_.

It takes her a few minutes after Primula confirms it for her before she’s able to actually open the envelope and take the letter out.

Upon reading the letter, she learns that Thorin and his nephews (as well as the rest of the company) are all alive and well.

She doesn't think she will ever receive a better Yule gift than this.

-

Spring arrives and she sets off with her darling child in a sling close to her bosom.

The journey takes about five months, give or take a few weeks to get back within sight of Erebor. The going is infinitely easier than the first time around, even if she does choose to go around the Mirkwood rather than through it.

She is loath to bring her child into such a dark and sick place.

-

Quite frankly, she finds it appalling at how quickly one's travels can go from safe to life-threatening.

Of all the evil creatures she could have encountered on her journey, she has the luck of locating Azog not two hours away from journey's end.

He spots her as well, sees the child in her arms, and if she didn't know better, she would have described the look on his face as _glee_.

And then she's suddenly spurring the pony into a gallop towards the mountain.

-

She makes it about halfway there before she realizes she's leading Azog to the mountain and she's certain her heart skips a beat at the thought of Thorin fighting Azog again.

She thought she'd lost him once, she can't let that happen again.

But she can't endanger her child either.

She would sooner die herself than have harm come to her child after all.

She makes a split-second decision, gallops to the nearest dwarf, a young looking one with fiery red hair and clothes that speak of nobility, and hands the babe over, begging them to take the child to Thorin or another member of the Company.

The dwarf understandably wants to refuse, and then they catch sight of what's chasing her. They see the fear for her child in her eyes and nod. The dwarf takes the child and then she, _she_ is turning her pony around and spurring it to gallop _towards_ the pale orc.

She hears a shout of protest from the dwarf, but pays no attention to it and focuses on engaging Azog in battle.

She _must_ kill the pale orc before Thorin can get there, or else she risks losing him for real this time.

She does.

And then her world goes dark.


End file.
